150725 Bad week

This week has been everything but happy-go-lucky for me. Even the computer is going against me /sigh. (I seriously need to go buy a new one). Anyways, have been trying to not let people and things get to me, but the strained feeling I have here on my shoulder tells me otherwise. Been stressing without knowing. Should go relax or something but I know that is not going to happen any soon. Listening to music should've helped, but seemed to be immune to it

There are times I really want to quit working and hide somewhere in my room and never come out. Have you ever had these people who are annoying as fuck? And I mean literally. I can understand people wanting to be unique with everything they say or do and stuff, but sometimes there is no possibilty for some of the things to be done what they desire. And this I mean there were two customers who wanted to order wedding rings and they want to have this almost unexplicable model which we cannot make. The same questions gets asked for hundred times and the same answer 'no' gets repeated hundred times.

Sometimes I have a feeling the word 'NO' doesn't register in people's m\ind because they simply don't want to hear it nor accept it. /sigh And all because of them, I barely got time to have my own break and go eat.

Following up on the previous cut, whatever the customers requested should be specially asked to the boss and him being annoying as a sh8t sometimes makes me really annoyed and angry. I sometimes feel like I want to just drop the whole thing and let him do the handling with the customers. Because he is one, for everything that must be asked to him, I am the one who has to wait like forever until it finally downs on him that he should give me an answer. Times like this makes me wonder if he rather not have this order or not. If he finds it hard or whatever just tell it's impossible to make them, basta. Noooo~ he always leaves me hanging there waiting like an idiot. And in turn I let the customers wait.

He doesn't care whether or not you are the one who has to do most of the work. I get it, he is busy and stuff, but sometimes when you need to ask him things and stuff he is always busy with unnecessary stuff like chatting over the phone or reading some kind of book or magazine on the laptop. Why can't he do that when there's no work, when everything is quiet and all. He doesn't even bother to help any one who is left there standing for a while. Of course, I understand he is not that great in the language, but just standing there like a statue and being an ass is even more worse. And the thing he likes to scream at people how stupid and dumb they are gets really annoying sometimes I feel like strangling that man. UGH! When will he start adapt and change for the better. And I am not saying it as in making him look bad because he is a church person, I am saying it because he should set up priorities instead of looking for flaws in people and not in himself. Stuck up is what I should call this maybe.

And if this isn't enough the place got crowded and crowded right before closing hours. Not that there's a problem with this, because it's a good thing, a good sale or how you call it, but when there are times you feel like you'd rather close up and go home to take a rest, the rest seemed to get even farther away.

If having these elements ruin my isn't enough there comes words from old people who are just being annoying because they think know everything and want you to do the same thing as what they did in a hurry.

Visited a friend earlier because I know I wouldn't be able to see her any time soon in the next two months, I've decided to go visit her and her baby. In the Chinese tradition they say when the mom just delivered the baby, she should be resting for a month and what not, I thought it should be okay to visit before things start changing here and I am not allowed to go. Thus said and done.

Went there and talked a bit with her before she got totally hogged by three others. Not that I mind or anything, because I have nothing to say to her actually and besides that didn't want to let her mother-in-law know that I am sick. Don't want to hear afterwards that I am the one who got the baby sick or anything. This isn't what got me annoyed, but when the grandma came and joined the 'talking', she was like:"Why don't you make a kid yet? Why are you so dumb?," And this is what has me almost exploding there, because she knows that the other has two kids already and is like ushering to make one too.

It's not that it should do me any harm or anything, but I am slowly getting sick with people asking this and that and making rude comments like this. Because it's not like I am not trying or anything. I simply think it's not time yet, why hurry? Sometimes I really wonder if it's a crime when you're not ready to make one yet. Is it that great or whatsoever when one has a child? I mean, you plan to make because you want one fast, but don't go compare others who have their own reasons as to why not having one just yet.

Hearing it one or two times wouldn't bother me this much, but hearing it multiple times and getting compared with the other really makes me feel self conscious from time to time. Isn't there a way to harden my feelings so I won't affected by anyone? /ugh I tend to get sensitive till some point and want to hurt someone. That's why I couldn't bear it to stay any longer and decided to just leave and wallow in self pity.

I know there are people out there who voice out things plainly, in their opinion, but to others, it really hurts a lot. Insensitive, they call this?

Luckily I have someone to share my pain and thoughts from time to time. There might be times I don't share, but keep for myself. However, I couldn't keep it up any more and had to let it all out. Having someone close and whom I can lean on, makes it less unbearable. <3